What is love?

Even though people see love as just a simple feeling, it is a much deeper feeling that goes beyond simple definitions. It is such a profound feeling of care, affection, and attachment for someone. There are a few different types of love, such as platonic, romantic, familial, and self-love. Compassion, selflessness, understanding, and wanting nothing but the best for your loved one are basic components of being in love.

What do people in love do?

 Love inspires kindness, from compliments and little gestures from here and there to grand gestures.When people are in love they have an impulse to change their behavior and become more attentive, considerate, affectionate, and patient. They show that they care through words, actions, and physical contact. In love, people have the proneness to prioritize their lover’s happiness over their own, making sacrifices and compromises to enhance their well-being.

Love tends to make people more emotionally vulnerable. When they are in love, partners are more likely to share their fears, insecurities, and deepest thoughts. This can make the connection between the two lovers stronger because they feel safe and accepted. The emotional bond might also make them crave closeness when they aren’t physically together.

Love encourages not just small acts of kindness but also emotional support and understanding, which makes both partners feel loved and secure. According to Wikipedia Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, who is a relationship researcher, has shown through his studies that love is essential for emotional security and happiness in the sense that it nurtures kindness, affection, and understanding. As the relationship continues to grow, the acts of affection and vulnerability will create a stronger, long-term connection.

Other things that come along with being in love

In addition to the emotion of love, it also requires a lot of commitment, patience, and effort. It’s standing by your partner during difficult times and clinging to them. One really great quote that relates to this is from the American Catholic philosopher, journalist, novelist, and diplomat  Micheal Novack and it says, Love is not a feeling or happiness. Love is a willingness to sacrifice.” It’s not all about passion but also about growing together learning about each other’s flaws and deciding to stay together through all the tough times. Whether it’s through laughter, deep conversations, or shared experiences, love shapes how people connect and grow together. 

Negatives in relationships that people will experience

People tend to become emotionally vulnerable, which isn’t a bad thing, but it can lead to heartbreaks, disappointments, or emotional pain if things don’t turn out as expected. Some people tend to become too dependent on their partner for happiness or self-worth and sometimes even both. This can create a toxic dynamic as well as identity loss. While compromise is an element of love it can also make people sometimes give up too much of themselves, their dreams, and even their personal ethics to maintain the relationship.

The top problems that impact relationships

• Miscommunication and Arguments

Most people would say that their partner is just like them in the beginning but as time goes on and the relationship continues to progress they will realize that they both have different personalities. Differences in expectations and personalities may lead to misunderstandings which will cause arguments. Resentment may happen as well as frustration. Wikipedia explains in detail that Dr. Gottman’s research also highlights that couples who handle conflict properly through active listening and mutual respect tend to maintain happier relationships.

• Jealousy and Insecurity

Most people tend to be jealous or insecure. When people develop attachment it can lead to possessiveness, fear of losing the person, or comparison to others, causing unnecessary stress. It can lead to self-sabotage which can cause you to ruin something good.

• Fear of Loss or Rejection  

In a relationship, you may worry about losing your partner. The thought of losing your person, someone who you deeply care about can cause you to experience anxiety and emotional distress, sometimes even leading to overthinking or clingy behavior. 

• Toxicity and Manipulation

In love, people may camouflage the red flags as issues that are fixable, causing them to stay in toxic, controlling, or abusive relationships out of fear of being alone. The attachment or “love” you have for the individual will just keep you there. Also because of the manipulation you may go through, you’ll most likely be tricked into thinking things are not as bad as they are. Research on abusive relationships explains that love can sometimes make people stay in those kinds of relationships due to emotional attachment or fear of being alone. A study in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that victims of abuse are emotionally bonded to their abuser, making it difficult for them to leave. 

• Unrealistic Expectations

When you’re in love it can sometimes lead people to glorify their partner or expect constant happiness. With that kind of expectation, it can lead to disappointment when the reality doesn’t match the fantasy you’ve created in your head.

• Painful Endings

If your relationship doesn’t work out, heartbreak can be one of the most painful experiences to go through. If the heartbreak affects you for too long it may very well lead to depression. It will also end up affecting your self-esteem, the trust you’ll have for others in future relationships you may get into, and your emotional well-being.

Being in love overall

Despite there being a lot of challenges that you’ll end up going through, love can be such an innovative and deeply meaningful experience. It’s built on mutual respect, understanding, and trust. Being in love with someone, even if it doesn’t end up working out, should never feel like a regret. It’s a beautiful experience and can help you figure out what you really want and don’t want for the future. Being able to see your partner’s patterned flaws and still deciding to stay with them and grow with them is what love really is. Never giving up on your person when things tend to get tough and grow together is the bare minimum. Nobody should be afraid to love who they want to love or love the way they want to love unless it is unhealthy, then get out. Life is way too short, so love who you want to, and create beautiful memories with the right person for you.